The Pain of Alzheimer's
Written by Amaris Castillo
It began with little things. Zoraida Flores' mother, Zoraida Suarez, would stare at the television as if watching it. It was off.
Suarez had a small dog named Nikita who would always run out the house if the door was left open. One day Nikita ran out the house and Suarez went after her.
"Once she grabbed her, she couldn't remember how to get back home," Flores says.
Suarez was two blocks away from her house. After a few minutes of standing there, she looked around and remembered then how to return home
That's when we took her to get tested," Flores says.
Suarez was diagnosed with the beginning stages of Alzheimer's when she was 70 years old. She is now 83
Alzheimer's is a progressive and fatal brain disorder and the most common form of dementia. The disease destroys brain cells and causes complications with thinking, memory and behavior severe enough to affect work, social life and lifelong hobbies.
At first, it was very difficult for Flores, a Wachovia bank teller from Cape Coral, Fla. She didn't understand the illness.
"At first, I used to say, 'Mom, you can't remember these things?'" she says. "It was hard for me. I couldn't accept why my mother was going through this
Flores, 51, says that she used to cry all the time, which would make her mother nervous
"I used to be sad until I realized I had to make her feel comfortable and go along with this process with her and not make her feel scared or uncomfortable," Flores says. "I can't let my mother look at me confused and sad, so I had to cheer her up and I had to go through changes."
Gloria Smith, president & CEO of the Alzheimer's Association's Florida Gulf Coast Chapter, said the beginning stage of Alzheimer's brings forgetfulness of short term memory.
"They might have trouble balancing a checkbook," Smith says. "You'll get a cut off notice for the electric bill so you don't remember if you paid the bill or if you paid it three times."
Alzheimer's patients begin repeating themselves, which Smith said can be very frustrating for family members. The impact of the disease affects caregivers in many ways.
According to "2008 Alzheimer's Disease Facts and Figures," a report by the Alzheimer's Association, many family and other unpaid caregivers experience high levels of emotional stress and depression as a result of caring for a person with the disease. The report, which is a comprehensive statistical abstract of U.S. data on Alzheimer's disease, stated that care giving also has a negative impact on the health, employment, income and financial security of many caregivers
According to the report, more than 40 percent of family and other unpaid caregivers of people with Alzheimer's and other dementias rate the emotional stress of care giving as high or very high and about one-third of family caregivers of people with Alzheimer's and other dementias have symptoms of depression.
Smith described Alzheimer's as hideous."It robs you of your loved one while they're still here," she says.
What people need to remember and what she and other people who work for the Alzheimer's Association tell caregivers, is to take every day that they have as special and plan something that the patient is capable of doing, even if it's watching a movie together.
"The person is still there, it's just the disease has robbed them of certain skills or memories," Smith says. "But you can make new ones."
Smith described the middle stage of the disease as probably the most difficult."They will accuse you of stealing from them, they might get really aggressive," she says.
"Smith even heard of an Alzheimer's patient who came at her husband with scissors every night because she didn't recognize him.
One of the first things she tells caregivers is to put away anything that could be used as weaponry."We've had more than one incident where the person with dementia killed their caregiver because they didn't recognize them," Smith says. "They thought someone was in their house that wasn't supposed to be.
Suarez is now in her later stages of Alzheimer's. Flores said her mother used to love her Latin food including rice, beans, meat and soups. Now, Suarez is down to around 80 pounds and drinks just the soup broth.
Suarez currently lives in a private home run by a woman who also cares for other elderly people. A bus picks up Suarez at 7 a.m. each weekday and takes her to an elderly day program, where there are many activities for her to participate in as well as an opportunity to interact with other people her age.
She plays bingo, she plays dominoes, they paint her nails," Flores says. "She's interacting with other people."
There are registered nurses on staff and if something doesn't seem right with her mother, Flores says that they call her right away.
"Flores picks up her mother and brings her to her house on weekends and holidays.
"Flores said the disease has always hurt her from the beginning but it worries her now because her mother is now in her later stages.
"Sometimes she tells me she's tired and she's not eating," Flores says.
"One day, Suarez told Flores that Flores' grandfather had been in her dreams and had been talking to her a lot.
That really hit Flores.
"I'm trying to be strong and let her see me happy but it really got to me that she told me that," Flores says.
"Though Flores doesn't like to talk about it, the disease has brought division between her family. With the exception of her, only her youngest brother stays in close contact to see how their mother is doing. Flores has four siblings.
"Flores said she tells her mother she won't stop caring for her.
"She means the world to me," she says.
"Flores used to color her mother's hair all the time but when she would do so, it would burn Suarez's scalp and she didn't like that. Flores stopped coloring her mother's hair since last year and it is now white.
"Flores laughed as she explained how her mother occasionally complains to her to color her hair for her.
"She's very proud," she says. "She looks nice with her white hair."
Author: Amarilis Castillo
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